Weddings are for Normal People

Question: What do normal people do at weddings?

Answer: I suppose they sit politely, stand/sing/clap/pray at the appropriate times, and socialize/dance during the reception.

I wouldn't know. I'm not 'normal'.

Question: What do I do at weddings?

Oh, I'm so glad you asked. I sneak away with Little Boy Blue, find naked statue gardens, and take pictures. I think my way is waaaaaay more fun.

Dear Josh and Danielle ~ Congratulations! Thanks for inviting my family to your special day. You mentioned I was missing from the pictures the photographer took. Hmm, that's weird. I guess the photographer and I always just missed each other. I mean, I was there. Regardless, Little Boy Blue and I had lots of fun. It's certainly a wedding he and I will never forget. Much love ~ Charlottalove

The Wreckiest Night Ever

I got to meet Jen Yates on Monday night!

What? You don't know who she is?

Oh.

Well, I suppose I need to tell you about her.

Jen Yates is the Mastermind behind the funniest 'food' blog I've ever read. It's called Cake Wrecks and you should be ashamed of yourself if you've never read it. But, your personal mistakes aside, her blog makes my day. I literally "LOL" at each post.

When she mentioned she was writing a book, I knew it would be something I'd enjoy. To add icing to the, erm, cake, she announced a book tour with a stop in Atlanta.

And she mentioned there would be cake.

(A fra-reaking awesome cake!)

Um, Sign. Me. Up!

Now, as part of the book tour, each stop has a contest. Anyone attending is welcome to submit a cupcake replica of one of the cake disasters on her website.

I opted for 'I want sprinkles' cake. Here is the original cake posted on her blog.

Here's my cupcake replica. Mine actually had sprinkles. (I didn't win.)

It was to be me and Julia-Gulia. We invited Mama Mia to join us but, unfortunately, she had previous obligations and told us to have fun. We couldn't just leave her out of the evening though. What could we do to help Mama Mia experience the full wreckiness of our evening?

We made a cake.

The ugliest cake we could create.

(Julia-Gulia and I are torn: is it the back of Oscar the Grouch's head or a moldy football? We can't decide.)

And we had Jen autograph it.

She admitted this was the first time she'd ever been asked to autograph a cake.

I'm glad we could make her first experience so ...wrecky.

Thankful Comma For Little Boys

December 2008: Sunday dinner ~ Our guest, John, was seated and it was time to bless the food. My dad asked Little Boy Blue to offer the prayer. Although he meant to indicate two separate phrases, he didn't pause between the words 'came' and 'for' so his prayer sounded like this:

We are thankful that John came for the food.

We each chuckled. Even Little Boy Blue appreciated the mistake.

September 2009: Sunday dinner ~ Our guest, John, is again seated and it's time to bless the food. Little Boy, an emerging prankster like the rest of us, offered to say grace.

We are thankful that John came comma for the food.

My chuckle - during the prayer - was quite audible and soon joined by others.

I sure hope God has a sense of humor.

Otherwise comma I'm in big trouble.

Time is Money

It's been a long time since I blogged!

Speaking of time, I needed a clock in the bathroom. I was tired of not knowing how long I had to get ready and inevitably getting to places late.* I looked online for some clocks and was surprised at how expensive most were. I didn't want something round and 'normal' but the further away from a standard clock I looked, the higher the price tag rose. I decided I would make my own clock and I figured I could do it for under $20.

I started with a picture frame I found on sale for $8. **

Clock components were $6.

My dad gave me a piece of spare plywood and even cut it to fit the middle of the frame. Free!

I wanted to paint the plywood the same color of the bathroom - key lime pie. The spare paint from the bathroom had long been used so I went and bought a pint of paint. I was completely unprepared for the going rate of paint.

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

The hands that came with the clock components were brass and little and, well, just too plain. I found some that I loved for $3.

And now I know what time it is when I'm doing my hair or putting on my makeup.

Total Price: $33.75

So I blew my budget of $20 but I also have a clock I enjoy.

Oh, and on a side note, if you need anything painted a greenish color similar to key lime pie, anything at all, I've got a whole pint of paint left.

*I'm still late but now I have a cool clock that tells me exactly how late I'll be.

** Excuse the picture quality. I'm guessing my camera was on the wrong setting. Normally my pictures aren't so grainy.

Hindsight is $20 $20

I wanted glasses when I was younger. So badly, in fact, that I popped out the tinted lenses from a pair of sunglasses and wore just the frames.

Everywhere. To school, to the grocery store, around the house, while playing outside...

I remember riding my bicycle in the street one day while wearing my glasses. The neighbors were remodeling their home and a construction crew was busy at work. I rode up then down the street; up and back again. I'm not sure if I hit a small rock or shifted my balance but one moment I was riding high and the next found me on the asphalt next to my fallen bike. I laid there for what seemed like only a second before a construction member rushed to my side to help me. He picked up my bike and I dusted my knees. He then retrieved my blue frames and handed them to me.

I was humiliated.

He knew! He knew my adorable, cute frames were fake! Never mind that I'd just crashed my bike in front of him, he knew my glasses were plastic, empty frames.

I went in the house and waited until they left before I rode my bike again.

Little did I know that I would actually need glasses in 8th grade.

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I wanted braces when I was younger. So badly, in fact, that I carefully unbent a paper clip until it resembled my top row of teeth. I crumbled small bits of aluminum foil around the paper clip to form makeshift brackets. I connected the paperclip and brackets to my teeth with a rubber band. It was a nuisance to keep in my mouth (I laugh now at how dedicated I was to this endeavor) but I would put it in my mouth each afternoon as soon as I got home from school.

Little did I know that I would actually need braces during high school.

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I wish I'd recognized the trend when I was little.

* Wear fake glasses, get real glasses

* Wear fake braces, get real braces

I sure wish I'd carried around a pocketful of Monopoly money.